Our standards

Short answer: This site publishes a real coaching method built on one principle: it works because it stops you from manipulating — the begging, the pressure, and the games. Client privacy is protected by strict anonymization, data is reported with honest denominators, and when pursuing an ex would be bad for you, we say so.

Not a manipulation manual

The method published here is not about tricking anyone into coming back. No-contact isn't a mind game — it's the period where you become genuinely okay, which is the only version of you an honest reconciliation can be built on. If the strategy and the honest thing ever conflict, this site tells you to do the honest thing.

When we tell you not to try

If the relationship was abusive, if pursuing it keeps you stuck, or if what you actually need is to grieve and move on — the right answer is no, and Benny says so, to readers and paying clients alike. Seethe answers library for the situations where the advice is "don't."

Client privacy

• No verbatim client messages, ever. Situations described on this site are paraphrased and recomposed so meaning survives but wording doesn't.
• Composites, labeled. Client examples merge multiple real cases; names, places, occupations, and timelines are changed; distinctive details are swapped for equivalent ones.
• Testimonials require written consent naming website use specifically — first name and last initial at most.
• Aggregate data only: no statistic is reported for any group smaller than 20 people, and rates are shown against everyone who started, not just finishers.
• Removal on request: any client who believes a composite is based on them can have it removed, no questions asked — email [email protected].

A note on mental health

This method assumes heartbreak, not crisis. If you haven't been sleeping or eating for weeks, or you're having thoughts of harming yourself, a licensed therapist comes before any coach — and before any of this. In the U.S., call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). This site is coaching content, not medical or psychological treatment.

How this site is written

Every page starts from Benny Lichtenwalner's own coaching materials — his book, his protocols, and anonymized patterns from thousands of real coaching conversations. Drafting is AI-assisted. Before any page publishes it passes an automated privacy gate: a scanner that blocks every client name on file, plus an independent adversarial review that hunts for anything that could identify a real person — pages that fail are held, not published. Benny sets the method, the rules, and these standards, spot-checks the output, and takes responsibility for every page. "Updated" dates change only when the substance of a page changes.