How do I get my ex back?
Short answer: Stop all contact first, for three to six months, set by your ex's attachment style, the relationship's length, and how much chasing you've already done. Rebuild your body, state, and life during the silence. Then send one short re-entry message, and date them again under five strict rules for about two months before raising the relationship.
| Phase | What it means | Guide |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Stop | Do nothing first: no texts, no explanations, no grand gestures | Read the guide |
| 2. Rebuild | Run no-contact and the daily practices that restore your state | Read the guide |
| 3. Re-enter | Send the one calm message that reopens the door | Read the guide |
| 4. Read | Track their real investment level, not your hopes | Read the guide |
| 5. Rebuild the relationship | The Five Rules that keep attraction alive through dating | Read the guide |
Start with the complete walkthrough:How to Get Your Ex Back — the full method, free.
Who's behind this
Benny Lichtenwalner is a U.S. Marine Corps veteran, author of How to Get Your Ex Back, and a full-time breakup coach who has guided hundreds of clients through this exact process. The whole method is published here, free, including when he tells people not to try.
Original data from a real practice
Your exact situation, answered
- After spending time with my ex, should I plan the next meetup or wait?
- Am I overthinking, or do I have enough data to act on my ex situation?
- Am I the Exception to How Attachment Styles Work With My Ex?
- Can I use a false reason to see my ex without it backfiring?
- Can improv or comedy classes actually help me attract my ex back?
- Can my ex sense my anxiety even when I seem calm?
- Can No Contact Go Too Long and Push Your Ex Toward Indifference?
- Does checking on my ex during no-contact make my anxiety worse?
- Does every day of silence make my ex more curious about me?
- Does going quiet actually make my ex miss me?
- Does My Anxiety About My Ex Push Them Away?
- Does my ex know I'm spiraling about them right now?